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#89144 - 01/20/08 01:11 PM
Why not have it be Military Families instead?
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Montigee
Junior Member
Registered: 11/30/06
Posts: 56
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I used to be a Military wife. Matter of fact I grew up a military brat. Army mom is 100 times worse.
I didn't think I'd ever miss anyone as much as I did my father, until my husband went and I knew that was as bad as you could miss someone. Then my baby boy went and now I know for sure how bad, bad can be.
_________________________
Montyna
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#89188 - 01/20/08 05:39 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Montigee]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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Are you suggesting something like Military Family MTs? That might describe what we want better than Military Spouse MTs.
I would like to get a few more people here so we can have more opinions before we ask to have it changed. Opinions are invited.
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#89195 - 01/20/08 07:03 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Linda Andrews CMT]
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haggis
Member
Registered: 04/29/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: Left Coast, FL
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I don't know why I have an opinion because I have zero military connections. . . but it seems like spouses would actually have MT-related issues like finding and keeping a job, wherein the rest of the family would not. I thought this was more for networking than grief counseling.
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#89200 - 01/20/08 08:22 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: haggis]
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FarAwayDeb
Member
Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 2772
Loc: just south of Rochester, NY
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I thought the whole point of military spouses learning MT (and getting a discount at the schools) was so they could have a job/career that could travel with them. I don't think the other "military family members" have that problem.
_________________________
Good grammar ain't easy.
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#89214 - 01/21/08 08:02 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: FarAwayDeb]
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Montigee
Junior Member
Registered: 11/30/06
Posts: 56
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I was under the obviously mistaken impression that being as this listed under the "Anything But MT" forums, you know "The forums for everything but MT!", that other "military family members" could share their pride and fears for sons and daughters.
But that's alright. There's lots of places to brag or worry about your child. It doesn't have to be here.
_________________________
Montyna
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#89248 - 01/21/08 12:33 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Montigee]
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Annie
Administrator
Registered: 01/08/00
Posts: 7837
Loc: Long Island, NY
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Linda is way too kind and gracious a lady to say anything - but I'm not and I WILL!
You admit you have no interest here - yet you're here - weighing in on matters that really don't concern you.
Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it has to come out of your fingers.
This post was in response to FarAwayDeb and Haggis not Montigee.
Back on track - whatever you decide, Linda, et.al is fine with me!
_________________________
New to the site? Please read through the "How to Use MT CHAT" forum BEFORE POSTING!
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#89308 - 01/21/08 06:07 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Annie]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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Linda, as an army wife and MT student I think the spouses have more issues to deal with that effect work/school than other military relatives do. No one else is attempting to care for children, run a home, and study while their spouse is away.If this was created to offer support for military families then it would be great to change the title. However, I suspect you created this area for us to discuss how we juggle the role of military wife and all the challenges that go along with it and make time either to study or work.
Time and time again I have seen the petty arguments over who has it worse (mom, wife, friend, girlfriend, child) and it is not my intent to get into that argument. Quite simply as a spouse I have to manage a home, 4 children, activities, and studying a challenging MT curriculum ;-) and would love to have a special spot to chat with ladies who share the same struggles. The chatting would be after my studies are complete of course. :-)
Thank you Linda for thinking of those of us serving in the silent ranks.
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#89350 - 01/22/08 12:40 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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Montigee
Junior Member
Registered: 11/30/06
Posts: 56
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I participate in three military family forums. I have never seen any arguments about who has it worse. Every post from a Military mother or father to a Military wife, husband or child has been as supportive and loving as humanly possible. They are probably the only forums in the entire internet that don't involve nasties.
When a loved one joins the military, his/her entire family become part of a circle who does nothing but support one another. There is no nitpicking, no I-have-it-worse-then-you. It does not exist.
There is no forum anywhere that wifes and mothers argue about if fear for a child is worse then fear for a husband.
Of all the subjects in the world that are beyond inappropriate to create a pissing match over, this is the king.
I'll brag, post pictures and worry about my baby boy elsewhere. Y'all made it clear that this is not the place it used to be. And yes, Annie, it's at least half my fault 'cause I'm letting the bullies take over the playground. But there's lots of playgrounds.
And Sarah, registering to make your first post right after Annie clipped someone else's heels? Yeah, that's kinda been done before. Learn a new trick.
Thanks for trying Linda. I know you had the best intentions. How about I just brag and worry to you in private?
Love,
Dona
_________________________
Montyna
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#89356 - 01/22/08 08:07 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Montigee]
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JustJ
Member
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1226
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And Sarah, registering to make your first post right after Annie clipped someone else's heels? Yeah, that's kinda been done before. Learn a new trick.
I think this is a bit unfair. I assume Linda has posted a link to this forum at her school as Sarah stated she is a student there. I'm pretty sure she registered here to get support and talk to other people who are going through exactly the same things that she is.
I am certainly not here to get into a pissing contest either. You stated you used to be a military wife, so you should know how the military works. Their best phrase is "If we wanted you to have a wife and family, we would have issued you one." Sometimes all the wives have are each other and I think Linda thought of that when she started this forum.
There is no nitpicking, no I-have-it-worse-then-you. It does not exist.
Trust me, it does. Some mothers think that their child's significant other couldn't possibly love them as much as they do, worry about them as much as they do, etc., and the military wife is usually the one who gets the brunt of it.
I will be more than willing to help all I can on issues such as dealing with the different departments on base who tend to ignore you if you are not wearing a uniform, how to find a good neighborhood before PCSing if you don't qualify for base housing, how to research the schools in the area, etc. Also, if anyone gets orders to the UK, holler at me either on here or by PM with any questions you might have.
J
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#89358 - 01/22/08 08:17 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: JustJ]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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Yes I am a student at Andrews and only registered here after reading a post that this area had been created. It wasn't a trick and I'm not sure what was meant by that but thank you for the warm and friendly welcome.
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#89428 - 01/22/08 05:24 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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Hi Sarah! Glad you made it here.
I thought I would update the Military Spouses on a few things. I've received a number of private e-mail messages from military spouses who all said basically the same thing. They said they had been on other military spouse message boards and they are jam packed full of griping, whining, and complaining. There were issues regarding how much they hated where they were and even a few people who had issues with rank.
I am so glad to know some of the things we can avoid here since those same people said they didn't want to participate in any military spouse message board because of their painful experience elsewhere in the past. I don't blame them.
It makes sense to keep this as we originally intended it to be, for military spouses.
I think we can make this work. If there's one thing I DO know about military spouses, they aren't quitters and they don't let unpleasant people ruin a good opportunity for them.
Let's make it work for us. I look forward to getting to know all of you and the very specific problems that MTs who are ALSO military spouses have to resolve. You've obviously found ways to make challenging situations better. THAT is worth talking about.
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#89430 - 01/22/08 05:30 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Montigee]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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How about I just brag and worry to you in private?
I think that will be great. Brag away! My e-mail is linda@andrewsschool.com and I am happy to listen to you brag about your military heroes. 
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#92791 - 03/07/08 11:21 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Linda Andrews CMT]
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typinggal
New Member
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 18
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Ahh, you know, there is so much to be said one way or the other. Who knows who is right and who is wrong. Me, personally - I've been an MT for 15+ years. I'm a military brat (Air Force) and my husband and I adopt soldiers overseas while they are deployed (how do you think I can work and talk to them at the same time). If it wasn't for being an MT I would not have been able to talk some of those young ones through their tough times, with one ear plugged into the Dictaphone.
So, having said this, my input is this - it may seem a waste of time and space on the forums to some to see postings about life as a military spouse or the struggles they incur, but if you have a smidge of empathy, perhaps just reading what they have to say is in helping them with the overwhelming sense of aloneness they are experiencing, which is what I do daily. Doesn't mean you have to respond, or say anything at all. Some are in places where they have no family at all, cannot afford long distance charges if they are saving the cell phone minutes for their loved ones, and trying to keep it together so their loved ones don't have a clue about the stress they're experiencing.
I'm so sorry for the length of this post. Anyone who is a military wife who would prefer to correspond can PM me. I can "listen", if you'd like. Have a great day everyone!
_________________________
If you're having trouble putting one foot in front of the other, try jumping up and down...
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#93756 - 03/20/08 01:15 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: typinggal]
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USMCMT
New Member
Registered: 10/16/07
Posts: 3
Loc: California
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BRAVO, JustJ, you hit the nail squarely on the head!
-USMC WIFE!
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#103681 - 07/15/08 02:43 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: USMCMT]
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ksjayhawk
Member
Registered: 08/21/02
Posts: 567
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I'm a military wife and have seen the arguments take place on military support boards. I've seen arguments take place over the specific branch, rank, how long deployments are just to name a few. The nit-picking does exist. It doesn't matter if your spouse is Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, or Navy. Or active or guard. I'll support whoever.
JustJ and typinggal, wonderful posts!
_________________________
DD ~ 3 ** DS ~ 17 months MT Buddies
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#104021 - 07/17/08 06:05 PM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: ksjayhawk]
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Belva
New Member
Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 1
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I was curious if this would also include a spot for a military contractor's wife. I know it is not exactly the same but I do feel the same feelings and experience a lot of the same things. In fact my husband just left this morning for Afghanistan, I am the mother of a 4.5 and 6 year old and just finished training for a MT career. Just took my final last week and passed.
If you do not wish for me to post here I understand but I will tell you right now I am not a whiner and care nothing at all about rank or anything like that.
Thank you for a response.
Belva
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#104085 - 07/18/08 06:17 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: Belva]
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JustJ
Member
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1226
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I'm not the moderator, but I am sure Linda will agree. If you have any questions or comments, post away.
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#104095 - 07/18/08 08:28 AM
Re: Why not have it be Military Families instead?
[Re: JustJ]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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Belva, congratulations on passing your final exam!
I wish you the very best for your family. I can't imagine how it must be to have to answer those questions your children must have. Some of the others here know from experience, but I'm guessing it takes a few days before the younger children understand what happened. I have trouble even saying (writing) the words. It probably takes some time before it registers with the smaller children that Dad's not going to be here for dinner for a long time.
Hugs for all of you and your families. {{{ HUGS }}}
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Moderator: Linda Andrews CMT
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