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#89034 - 01/18/08 05:04 PM
How Do You Do What You Do?!
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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I'll start out with a question. How in the world do military spouses manage to accomplish all that you accomplish? I hope some of you have hints on how you manage your household, children, work, studies, or do you just play it by ear?
When you move frequently, how do you handle all of the 'stuff' that people normally collect? Does it move with you? Do you have some secret knowledge about how NOT to collect 'stuff' or are you drowning in it like the rest of us?
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#89355 - 01/22/08 07:40 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: Linda Andrews CMT]
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JustJ
Member
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1226
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In response to the second part of the question, I have continued to collect stuff, although my husband is twice as bad. The key is keeping the box for everything you buy (TV, video, DVD, ornaments, etc.) and packing your valuables back into them yourself at moving time before the packers even get to your house. At one point in time our attic was filled with empty boxes, filled with empty boxes.
One more thing I can do now is get rid of all the boxes as we have decided to stay where we are. The recycling place better get ready as 24 years of boxes sure add up. 
J
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#89357 - 01/22/08 08:13 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: JustJ]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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We do the same thing! Our garage is full of all the boxes and packing materials our electronics and other big purchases came in! However we never let the army move us and if we did they do not move what you have packed yourself. They have to pack it for you. Does the AF not do it that way as well? My husband is all about the money we make of DITY moves. I'm pretty sure if we went over seas he would move us himself if he could!
Edited by ArmyWifeMT (01/22/08 08:26 AM)
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#89359 - 01/22/08 08:25 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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JustJ
Member
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1226
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Does the AF not do it that way as well?
As long as we didn't seal any boxes and they could look in them if they wanted to, we were okay to pack our own things and they would put the sticker on the box and write it on the inventory. You've seen some of the packers they use, I certainly am not letting them rummage through my personal items!! 
When we made our last move from the UK to here they gave us special cleaning instructions for how to clean everything that had been outside, including shoes, so we didn't bring mad cow disease over here *sigh*. The kicker is they didn't even check them after we had spent 6 hours scrubbing everything. I was not a happy bunny.
J
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#89381 - 01/22/08 11:34 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: JustJ]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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I haven't deserted all of you. I'm bogged down in meetings. Just finished one and I'm off to another one. I'll get caught up reading everything when I return.
This thread is great though! I think I'm going to learn a few things from all of you.
Thanks for supporting this new project! 
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#89421 - 01/22/08 04:58 PM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: Linda Andrews CMT]
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MarlowMT
New Member
Registered: 01/22/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Camden, NC
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Hello All
Annie told me about this awesome forum so I decided to jump on over and say hello. As for how I do what I do... I really have no idea. Good medication, lol (JJ):) My husband is currently serving in Iraq and I am at home with my 3 children ages 7, 5, and 22 months. My youngest 2 both have autism so that’s a challenge but that’s not even the most difficult part. I can get through all the moving because every time I move I clean out all my junk and the kids suddenly can't find a lot of things, tee hee It is when he is gone that everything falls apart. Like now for instance. I have a mice infestation above and below me (in the attic and in the crawl space), I only have one bathroom and the toilet broke today, and this weekend after we had a little bit of snow my roof started leaking. None of this happened last year when he was here, but this year when he isn't here all of a sudden its happening. Like I know how to fix all this stuff. Better yet, like I know how to find good people who aren't going to take one look at me alone by myself with a house full of children and see dollar signs, lol! So I laugh at my life constantly. That is how I really get through it. I try to see it all like its a continuous journey that I am on and one day I am actually going to travel more than 1000 miles for any other reason than to unpack the same dishes and the same clothes and actually take that vacation he has been promising me
Anyway, just wanted to let you know how great it is to see this forum. I hope to post here often!
Michele
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#89432 - 01/22/08 05:36 PM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: MarlowMT]
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Linda Andrews CMT
Moderator-Andrews School
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 4950
Loc: Oklahoma City, OK US
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MarlowMT, it looks as if you've learned to laugh at yourself. That's a great skill to have in life. You've obviously chosen to take serious situations, but not take them TOO seriously. Uh, what did I just say. Oh well. I think you know what I mean.
Glad to have all of you military spouses popping in, one at a time. I love it! I expect it will take time to grow this forum, but we're not in a hurry.
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#89444 - 01/22/08 08:02 PM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: Linda Andrews CMT]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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Michelle I know exactly how that is! Everything always breaks when they deploy. The first time my husband went to Iraq we had a 2-month-old as well as a 3- and 4-year-old. I moved all by myself. I learned how to change the electric plug on appliances. I learned how to put a battery in a car, change a flat and so many other things I can't count. I also learned how to be very assertive with out being rude and how to get done what I needed to get done. I became well known and well respected in our division and have some nice awards hanging on my wall for my service in the Family Readiness Group. I had such a wonderful sense of accomplishment from that deployment! I was 27-years-old but I felt like I finally grew up that year. Unfortunately during this last deployment things fell apart that I couldn't fix (like my husband)and it was a very difficult 15 months. My soldier came home 10 days ago and deploys again in about 11 months. I'm hoping this next tour goes much more like #1 did!
I forgot to add that for this second deployment our children were ages 10 months, 2, 6, and 7 when he left. My oldest has ADHD and a Bi-Polar disorder. It keeps life interesting!
I'm going to edit this once again because I realized I didn't make my point so well! I'm tired. See I'm taking this MT course that requires just a teensy bit of work!  My point was that even though deployments are hard, draining and just plainly difficult they are also a time for personal growth. I hate that my husband and I have spent so much time apart. I'm not sure our marriage is going to recover from the effects this second deployment has had on him. But without the deployments I would never have learned the things I mentioned above. It was a time for personal growth I never would have had otherwise and believe it or not I am grateful for that experience. Remember the saying "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger?" That really applies to army life! HOOAH!
Edited by ArmyWifeMT (01/22/08 08:34 PM)
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#89492 - 01/23/08 09:54 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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MarlowMT
New Member
Registered: 01/22/08
Posts: 4
Loc: Camden, NC
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Well Sarah, I can't say that I envy you. I think being an Army wife is one of the hardest jobs in the military. I am a Navy wife myself and although my husband deploys a lot, this is his first actual tour to Iraq. I always say that you have to wonder how the war is going when they are sending sailors to fight in the sand, lol :D. That being said, we have been through quite a bit together. We have been married for 8 years and I don't think there is much we haven't gone through. For about half of those years I wondered if we would make it, most of them in the beginning or the middle, because it is hard being by yourself and every time he came back it was like I had to "get to know" him all over again. So a few deployments back we became accustomed to going on dates for a few months when he got back so we could become husband and wife again. It is always hard to get out of where they have been and it is definitely hard to get back from where you have been after being alone for so long. I do worry about this deployment in particular because I can tell the tension in his voice when he calls. He is resentful and I really can't blame him. They keep changing the date he is coming home and I know that must be hard for him. On the other hand, it is VERY difficult for me not to tell him everything I am going through without him. Sometimes I do tell him just to keep him grounded. I think every once and a while he needs to be reminded that we are here and we are waiting for him, even if we are waiting for him just so he can fix the dishwasher :).
My oldest son also has ADHD/Dyslexia so I can relate with your situation. I think the hardest thing for me when it comes to him is getting the school to listen to me and do what I want. They don't always have the resources available and when it comes to dyslexia there really aren't a lot of schools that do. That is a fairly new diagnosis for him so I am still looking into resources for that.
So are you in school to be a medical transcriptionist? I have been a medical transcriptionist for almost 4 years. I think it is great for a military wife because it moves with us. We just pick up our computers and take it with us, cables and all, lol. Can't beat that 
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#89520 - 01/23/08 01:44 PM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: MarlowMT]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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Yes, just started school in late September. I was off to a very slow start but the past week have finally started making good progress. When they Navy goes to Iraq are the deployments year long? My husbands first tour was to be 12 months but they were extended and his company stayed 13.5 months. He was injured and sent to a hospital in Germany and then home at the 11.5 month mark of that deployment. This time we thought the deployment would be 12 months but, just like the rest of the army, we were extended to 15 months. He came home after 14 months, 4 weeks, 2 days. Not that I was counting.
I had not planned to go to school until our youngest daughter was in school herself. I already have a Bachelors Degree but very much want to work from home. Being a stay at home mother is very important to me. It became even more important once the war started and hubby was suddenly gone more than home. I want the kids to know I am always here for them. Unfortunately my husband began suffering with symptoms of PTSD and severe depression. This was very not like him and his behavior is frightening at times. My thoughtful, supportive, and sweet husband was replaced with a self absorbed jerk. Some days I feel like the man I married died in Iraq. I am trying to be patient and ride out the storm. I love him with all my heart but obviously I have to think of the children too. I'm very hopeful things can get back to normal but I am also realistic that they might not. I started MT school a bit earlier than planned just in case I need to be able to support myself and the children. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but I felt strongly that I needed to prepare now.
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#89669 - 01/25/08 09:59 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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evos524
New Member
Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 4
Loc: The Great Place, TX
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We do the same thing! Our garage is full of all the boxes and packing materials our electronics and other big purchases came in! However we never let the army move us and if we did they do not move what you have packed yourself. They have to pack it for you. Does the AF not do it that way as well? My husband is all about the money we make of DITY moves. I'm pretty sure if we went over seas he would move us himself if he could!
LOL My husband is the same way! We moved ourselves from NC to TX. Then we moved ourselves from one village to another on post while I was 7 months pregnant with #3. I begged my husband to just let the Army move us, but he said he would do all the heavy lifting if I just packed the boxes. LOL It worked better than I thought it would.
_________________________
I love my Infantryman!
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#89712 - 01/25/08 04:39 PM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: evos524]
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ArmyWifeMT
New Member
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 22
Loc: Wherever The Army Sends Us
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When we moved from one village to another on post I hubby had been sent home with a severe back injury and had just started walking again. I was 4 months pregnant and very sick. Guess who did all the heavy lifting? LOL! Of course I am not one to not lift something because I'm pregnant but I thought hoisting the sofa on a u-haul wa s a bit extreme.
_________________________
~Sarah~
Army wife, mom to four kids and a snake, MT student.
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#91863 - 02/26/08 09:26 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: ArmyWifeMT]
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mnpmoseley
New Member
Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 1
Loc: Mississippi
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Reading this makes me laugh and cry at the same time. I relate to all of you. Everytime my husband leaves, one of my four children end up in the hospital.Or how about the time a rat died in our wall and the stench was so unbearable that we couldn't sleep in our house for a week. I didn't know how to find it. I have also learned to be independent, learning how to fix the car, refrid.,dryer and washer,take care of an acre of professional landscaped yard..(needless to say, it doesn't look so great anymore).My oldest is ADHD, the next is Dyslexic.. it seems to be a pattern in the military world??? The relationship with Hubby has been the same. He leaves, I become independent, he comes home and we have to learn to live with each other all over, then he leaves again..I too collect boxes. There aren't alot of military around here, so everyone thinks I'm crazy. When we lived in apartments all our beds had boxes broken down under them, and the small storage was almost all boxes. We moved when I was pregnant 3 of the 4 times. Twice when I was 8 or 9 months. I packed everything and helped move furniture as well. Truthfully, though, I have tried to imagine what is like on the other side(non-military) and I just can't. I laugh and cry alot, and know that all things are important to our Freedom. I love my husband in the military. I wouldn't want him to do anything else. I feel as if we are just trying to pay back our debt to our country for the blessings and freedoms it allows us. Anyway... I am trying to decide which school is right for me, Andrews or M-Tec. I am a little nervous starting, I don't want to fail. It just isn't an option.
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#92666 - 03/06/08 08:56 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: mnpmoseley]
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typinggal
New Member
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 18
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Ahhh, been there, done that - but I'm an Air Force brat from way back. We are a "crazy" bunch - moving makes one that way. My mother used to comment (often) that we moved 23 times in 20 years and that cardboard boxes were just an organizational tool! Don't know if I can help or not but I am also and ADD coach. I am a tad hyperactive (which I control by being busy, busy, busy - my brother is HD (my mother finally was able to take him to the doctor in the early 1960s againt my father's wishes because the boy would go to bed at 2 a.m. and be up at 4 a.m. for the day), and my two stepsons have ADHD. Thankfully, my oldest graduated from Penn State last year and now is teacher at a performing arts school outside of Houston, TX. His younger brother is now a junior at West Chester University. email me back if you'd like.
_________________________
If you're having trouble putting one foot in front of the other, try jumping up and down...
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#92668 - 03/06/08 09:01 AM
Re: How Do You Do What You Do?!
[Re: JustJ]
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typinggal
New Member
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 18
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Heh, heh - reminds me of a move my father took us on to Turkey (he was Air Force). The moves descended upon the house and packed, packed,packed. Fast forward to the good ole USA. It is true that they packed everything - when we got back they had even packed his ashtray and the ashes in it! And so it goes.
_________________________
If you're having trouble putting one foot in front of the other, try jumping up and down...
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Moderator: Linda Andrews CMT
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